


Irises

by SerenitySniper97



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drinking, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Jean's POV, M/M, Modern AU, Swearing, This is going to be one big storm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-01 15:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2779007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenitySniper97/pseuds/SerenitySniper97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything was a dream until everything just crumbled before my eyes. I've always prayed every night that it would get better each day. Oh how wrong I was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is going to be really short because I needed to get started on this one I wanted to do for a while. Just some introduction for this new series I'm writing. ^-^

I wipe down the polished light wooden counter top with a white table cloth. I look on out the glass window where I see people passing by the coffee shop.

_God, why did I get out of bed this morning?_

I turn my head back down towards the counter top rubbing it lightly when I hear Armin talking to Eren in the background. Reiner comes walking towards me smelling like spices and sauces.

_This is Reiner Braun, some asshole who I randomly met by Bertholdt in a mini bar. Hell, he may be an asshole but I trust him with my life. He's almost like a older brother I always wanted._

Reiner throws his apron on his left shoulder as he sits down on the stool in front of me while he clears his throat "So, Mikasa told me that there's going to be a new person working here in a couple weeks. I can't remember his name but yeah, he's coming from Jinae."

_Jinae, isn't that where nice smart asses are from? I guess we could use another smart ass._

I throw the cloth off to the side while I pull out two black mugs from the lower cup boards then I place one in front of Reiner then one for me "Yeah? How long is he willing to work here?" Reiner shrugs while he looks out the window "I don't know." I turn around to get the coffee kettle off the stove when I turn around with the kettle "But, why come to Trost? This place is already filled with lunatics than it needs to be. We don't need another." I fill up Reiner's cup of coffee I pull the kettle away towards me when Reiner says in a sarcastic voice "Maybe one of those lunatics are one of you, Jean."

_Har har, at least I don't come from a small town where everybody is just totally asses. Oh wait, shit._

I grin hard at him when I fill my cup of coffee when I look at Eren laughing away with Armin while Mikasa smiles with her scarf lowered down. I put the kettle back where it belongs when I say "I was talking about Eren." I turn around as I lower myself to the counter with my elbows against the wood. I take a sip of my coffee. Reiner takes the mug in his hand while I say "I can't believe we all together got this run down place up and running." Reiner sighs while Sasha walks in rushing to put her purse on the counter when Reiner says "Well, most of us. Also you're late Sasha." Sasha shrugs putting her head on the counter with her pony tail sprawled all over the counter when she catches her breath "I missed by bus this lunch break. I had to run all the way over here." Reiner pats her on the back when I say to them "At least you had a good lunch right?"

_Sasha Blouse, I met her at some sort of cafeteria in high school when I had potatoes that I didn't want. The one day I gave her ONE potato she always sat beside me praying for more potatoes. Now look where we are, hella close friends._

Connie badges in the Restaurant when he walks toward Sasha than slaps her on the back "Damn it Sasha, why did you have to leave me behind." Sasha holds her back where Connie slapped her when Connie sprawls all over her back when Sasha breaths heavily. Reiner laughs at them when I take another shot of my coffee.

_Connie Springer, I've known him since 9th grade of High school, we both didn't know what we were doing that first day then we both just clicked and became friends with each other._

Reiner looks at the time when he stretches out his arms when he yells "Bert! Let's go, it's our lunch break now."

_Hell, I could use some lunch right now. I'm starving._

Connie gets up from Sasha going around the counter to get to the kitchen with Sasha on his back like a tail. Bertholdt comes out from the back room with flour all over his apron setting it down beside Mikasa "Yeah, Annie, do you want to come too?" Annie nods her head when she takes off her apron hanging it on the hanger in the closet.

_Annie Leonhart, I met her through Mikasa when we first graduated highschool. I brought all of my friends and Mikasa brought her to the house party. I decided to smoke weed when I decided I didn't want a massive hangover the next day. Oh, what a wonderful sleep I had the next day._

"Jean you going to stay here or?"

_Reiner and Bertholdt rarely ask me to go for lunch with them. I haven't gone with lunch with them since they slapped a cake into my face then also made me spill my milkshake all over myself._

I look at Reiner when Bertholdt slips on his black pea coat jacket when I scratch my head nervously "Y-yeah, I'll come."

_Damn, I have a feeling this is going to end badly. I hope it isn't as bad when Eren pushed me into the damn pond full of frogs and tad polls. Jesus. I had to get a new phone after that._

Reiner throws his apron on my face when I take off mine when Annie walks by me, I hand over the aprons to Annie when she shrugs then snatches them out of my hand turning around to the closet. I go over the counter spinning around a bit then Reiner stops me from spinning "Woah Woah, wait were you born on a barn? Get off the table."

_There goes Reiner and his metaphors._

I sprawl all over the table when I notice people are looking in the restaurant.

Eren shouts across the shop, when Armin face palming beside him, when Mikasa turns around pulling her scarf up to her nose "He was born in a barn, that's because he has such a horse face!"

_I can use this moment to use that doge meme I've always wanted to use in real life._

I sit up getting off the table when I say loudly back to him "Woah, eavesdrop much! Very annoying! WOW!"

_I can literally feel my smile going ear to ear. Who cares, I finally used it._

Eren turns around on his stool when he shouts back like an ass he is "Shut up Jean, we all know that's the doge meme."

_Eren Jeager, I met him through Armin and Mikasa. What an asshole, but he has his ways of being a friend. Like that time Eren beat the shit out of this guy who was being an compelte dick to me._

When Reiner turns around heading towards the door I notice Annie is already on the counter jumping on Reiner's back then she says quietly "I can fool around too you know!"

_Annie is barley like this in most days, what drugs did she take this morning?_

Bertholdt opens the door for Reiner and Annie when Annie bouncing on his back whenever Reiner walks. Then Bertholdt walks out of the place when I follow behind them, we didn't even make it out of the place more than 5 meters and we already heard a damn muffled explosion. We all turn to see what happened in there when Armin rushes towards the door locking it and turning the sign to 'closed' soon winking at us.

_Armin Arlert, he was Bertholdt's buddy then I happened to get him as a tutor when I was failing Math. He seemed pretty chill do I decided, what the hell? I can be friends with him._

I notice black smoke coming out of the kitchen when I see Historia running out squealing. Then followed my Ymir covered in cake mix, then finally Connie and Sasha coughing their lungs out coughing covered in black dust then laughing their asses off after wards.

_Historia is Ymir's girlfriend. Everybody wanted to be with her in high school. Historia wanted to stay single 'for the rest of her life' until Ymir showed up. I met both of them at drama class when we all had to rehearse for a play, never again doing a play._

 

Reiner looks at me with Annie on his back for a piggy back ride when people look at us standing there "I guess we have a longer lunch break." I smile at him trying to high five Betholdt when he just shrugs "Erm... I guess we should go then."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >   
>  "But I'll still believe though there's cracks you'll see,  
> When I'm on my knees I'll still believe,  
> And when I've hit the ground, neither lost nor found,  
> If you'll believe in me I'll still believe."  
> 
> 
> _~Mumford & Sons - Holland Road_

I sit down next to Bertholdt in a subway when Annie looks outside leaning her head on her hand. I pull out my phone opening snapchat when I see a snap from Sasha and Connie covered in black smoke with a caption saying "Just had a blast, HAHA"

_Sasha and her puns, she's one of those people who makes puns when she has the chance._

I roll my eyes as I reply to her double tapping her name as I put the phone in the air in the front cam while I see Reiner in the background ordering food for us then I tell Annie and Bertholdt to look, I stick out my tongue while Annie gives a done look while Bertholdt scratches his head forcing a smile. I take the photo then I write a caption "Subway and not with you Sash ;)"

_Sasha is going to be begging me for subway when I get back, I know it._

I set down my phone as Reiner comes back with the tray then he passes my sandwich saying "One meat ball sandwich for Mr. Kirstein." I take the thing out of his hand while I say towards him "Jesus, call me that again and I will slice your throat." Reiner sits down next to Annie while he hand her cookie and a sub, Reiner smirks once again opening his mouth when I pull out my pocket knife I always keep with me then I pull it out pointing it towards him raising an eyebrow Bertholdt puts down my arm to the table when he says to me quietly "Don't, people are going to see it Jean." Bertholdt prepares his sandwich while I see mustard leaking out with all sorts of meat sticking out. Annie opens hers as it's filled with vegetables and of course Reiner's whose sandwich is packed with mainly everything.

_You may be wondering why I carry a pocket knife in my pocket. Well, shit can go down in Trost too, there are a bunch of drunks everywhere who like to harass people._

I put back the knife in my pocket as I pick up my phone as I see a new snap chat from Sasha which shows Sasha on the floor rolling around groaning screaming subway. Bertholdt looks over my shoulder when Sasha stops at the end. Bertholdt still over my shoulder when he says into my ear "You told her we were at subway didn't you?" Reiner looks at me while he chews his sandwich when Annie says "She's going to be all over you when we get back now. Wishing that you saved her a sub."

_It's not like I didn't know that, I know Sasha. I know her too well._

I scratch my head looking at my sub when I finish off half of it then wrapping the other half for Sasha. "Anybody excited for the new co-worker? This is going to be the first time we have a stranger coming to work at our restaurant." Annie looks at Reiner when she tucks her bangs behind her ear then letting out "Not really, it's going to be one extra person. I hope it's somebody who knows how to party. Like an animal." Annie smirks at all of us when Bertholdt face palms adding to the conversation "Annie, I read his resume. He doesn't sound like a person who's into those kinds of things." Reiner finishes his sub until Annie wraps the rest and putting the cookies in her tan button up spring coat pockets "Wait you saw his resume? Do you know his name?" Bertholdt nods at me then he throws back his head taking a drink of his mountain dew "Uhhh, Marco Bolt? No wait... Bott. Marco Bott. Yeah."

_Annie never met somebody who likes to party hard as much as her, well there was Mikasa but she always looks after Eren and Armin like they're her children. Which totally looks like that to my eyes? It's kinda messed up if you thing about a mother dating her own son? Well, Mikasa and Eren are dating. Six months ago they finally confessed their love to each other. Mikasa was my dream girl, funny how she ended up with Eren._

Reiner remembers something about him slapping his hands together and pointing at Reiner then says "Oh! Mikasa said something about him being the new chef! He said he was good at cooking steak and shit." I smile at Reiner then I say "Cooking shit? That's a thing?" Annie rolls her eyes leaning back in the chair once she says "This guy's name sounds he's gay. Maybe you won't be single once he comes here." Annie smiles softly at me once I throw back at her "I'm not gay, also how do you assume he's gay just from his name? I've been single for 5 months. I'm so free."

_Hitch Dreyse, the most annoying bitch you'll ever meet. Hell, she was good at giving blow jobs though. There's a bright side to everything at least. She worked at the restaurant for a bit, but then she kept messing up then Mikasa had to let her down softly on firing her. God knows, what happened after that? I had taken a sick day that day._

Bertholdt puts his hand on my shoulder then mutters under his breath "Yeah, your ex-girlfriend was a pain in the ass. Always teased us and stuff, getting in the way, she tried helping me make bread under she dropped the fucking dough in to the fucking dish water." Reiner looks at him confused then he says "How the hell does that happen?" Bertholdt moves his shoulders up and down then he gathers the garbage on the table soon throwing them out, Reiner stands up then says to me walking away "We better help with the new problem at the restaurant, Mr. Kirstein." Annie chuckles walking away towards the door "Jean, he just sounds gay."

_Annie has an eye for gay people, but this... She really wants me to get into a relationship because everybody I know are in relationships. Connie and Sasha, Annie and Armin, Reiner and Bertholdt, Eren and Mikasa, finally Ymir and Historia._

 

____________________

 

Once we wait at the bus stop we wait for the next bus towards the nearest spot to the restaurant. I take a cigarette out of my jeans pocket followed by a lighter. A small light in front of it as I inhale the smoke when I put the lighter back in my pocket, Annie slaps me on the arm asking for a lighter with a long thin white cigarette in her mouth "What happened to yours?" Annie shrugs with the cigarette bouncing in between her teeth "I fucking lost it."

_Annie always loses her lighters. It’s rare to see one in her hands and her own pocket. She can't even keep a lighter for more than 2 weeks._

Bertholdt sits down on the rock by the tree nearby the bus stop, Reiner stands beside me leaning against the bus sign then he says "Why do you guys smoke?" Annie hands me back my lighter replying to Reiner "Because I want to." I look at Annie as Bertholdt comes walking back towards us with his hands in his pocket says to Reiner "Have you tried it? It's like a stick of stress free fucks. Since you're getting so stressed out you should try it or not. Depends on your choice."

_I totally agree with Bertholdt, I tried it in grade 12 on the last semester when I was getting stressed. I was pulling out my hair, papers all over my room, texts books all over my bed, Imagine Dragons playing in the background, pencil shedding everywhere. I got my hand on a cigarette, I tried it then snap. Got addicted, we always had lessons about smoking and how you're addicted. Hell, the one time I tried it I got addicted._

Bertholdt smiles at us, when Reiner had a good comeback to him "More like a stick of cancer. Also I thought you quit Bert." Bertholdt admits he did quit but he remembers the feeling about it. I take the cigarette out of my mouth while I say "Have you at least tried one?" Reiner puts his hand behind his neck then he says "Maybe, once? haha no.."

_Of course he didn't try one, a fit, sports player, who thinks mostly everything is stupid, didn't try one._

Annie gives one cigarette to Reiner then I light it for him, Reiner inhales then coughs stretching his hand outwards where his mouth isn't near it. Then he looks down at the ground saying to us "How do you guys get used to that?" Annie smiles while continuing to smoke, then she says "It's not like you tried grass." Annie looks around for a nearby store then she looks at the time then she says she's going to get a new pack and a lighter. Reiner sighs still holding the cigarette then trying it once more "What the fuck, I can't even stand properly what the fuck."

_Ah yes, I remember the first time I had a cigarette. I was wobbling, stumbling, and shaking everywhere for a good 15 minutes._

Reiner throws down the cigarette then stomping on it while I chuckle. I look at the store where Annie went to when I see a guy harassing her, once I see him pulling down the jacket off of her shoulder I see her keeping on pushing her away.

_Who the fuck does this guy thinks he is?_

With drunk slurs from the guy I throw down the cigarette off the ground when Bertholdt says to me to wait, I hear a car screech beside me when I jump back a bit looking at the annoyed driver flipping the finger at me.

_Close call, I could've been hit by a car, again._

I flip the finger back to him then to continue to run towards her when I quiet down my footsteps I see the old sick fuck putting his hand in down in her shirt pinning her down against the glass.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

I spin his around until he sees my face and until he pulls his hand out of her shirt then I throw back my hand then putting it across his face when he stumbles over to the side of the road getting his balance up I see Annie fixing her jacket, until the dude gets hit by a car but he doesn't go far. He just bounces on the ground until Annie pulls my arm telling me to get out of here fast when I see the bus approaching.

_What the hell did I just do?_

Annie rushes towards the bus with me behind her. Annie rushes in the bus putting 2 dollars in the slots, while I pull out pay for my ride. I sit down beside Reiner holding my hand while I see it's already swelling up and bruising. Annie takes a look at my hand when she says "Can you wait until we get there? Sasha can treat this." I nod my head as Reiner says to me "You know, you should look both ways before you cross the road." I glare at Reiner when I say "Shut up, you're not my mom."

_Why are you so fucking stupid, Jean. Annie knew what to do. God knows how many times a guy tried to harass her without us around. She can take down Reiner no problem._

Annie pushes me out of the bus onto the sidewalk when she says out loud towards me "I've handled that situation! Now we wouldn't know if that guy is alive or not." Bertholdt squeezes through Annie and I while Bertholdt is trying to calm Annie while Reiner helps me up "Why do you care that if he's alive or not? He was harassing you." Annie walks away knocking on the door of the restaurant while huge letter sit on the sign above the door 'Trost's Interior' "Does it matter right now? You've already done what you did."

_Annie looks like the person who doesn't give a shit about anybody, but if you know her well enough she will care for somebody who you expect her for who she is._

Armin comes running to the door to open it for us, "It does matter after what he was doing to you." Annie turns around walking towards me while Bertholdt tries to pull her away but she keeps walking towards me "Well after what you did to him! Maybe it doesn't matter what happened to me, it's matters what happens to him? He probably broke a bone or some shit!" Annie slaps my cheek while Armin comes rushing over then he says "Whoa whoa, Annie are you okay? What happened?" Armin holds Annie's hand while Annie just looks down mumbling "Nothing."

_Sure, Annie. It's nothing, somebody who touched you in a sexual way and I just punched him which caused him to hit a car._

Annie walks to the back to the kitchen which Armin gives me a look then goes back to Annie. Bertholdt drags me to the back of the kitchen then he drags Sasha to treat my hand. Sasha wipes the crumbs off of her mouth "Connie, can you get me ice and a cloth?" Historia sits down next to me while Armin is talking to Annie in the background, "Jean, what happened?"

_Her voice is so soft it's like music to my ears, Ymir is one lucky lady._

I look down on at my converse sneakers "I don't want to talk about it. It's best if Annie wants to say it or not." Connie comes back with ice in a cloth when Sasha looks at my hand, putting the ice on there when I flinch a bit then she says "Sorry. Also how hard did you hit him? If you threw another your knuckles could've been more swelled up and you wouldn't be able to cook and serve customers for a while." Sasha keeps the ice on my knuckles when she continues "Your knuckles will be bruised a bit. I don't know why they told me to treat this. It's just literally swelling and bruises." Sasha looks up at me then she shrugs while there are still more black dust in her hair. Her clothes are stained with it. an face is partially dirty while Connie didn't even bother to wash up yet.

_I swear to god, Sasha and Connie are made for each other. They have so much in common, they laugh at the same time, cry at the same time, get bored at the same time, it's scary really._

Ymir walks over wrapping her arms over her girl friend's shoulders when she says "Sasha, you should really try to get Connie clean. He's leaving black dust everywhere." I pull out half of my sandwich I saved for Sasha which she smiles at me trying to grab it but I pull it out of her reach then she frowns "You clean yourself up completely and get Connie clean." Sasha still holding the cloth to my knuckles Ymir says with glee "I have an idea!" Ymir rushes around looking for a large bucket for water, Historia rolls her eyes while she keeps sitting down beside when she says "I'm going to call somebody to fix the oven." Historia goes to the back room, while Mikasa and Eren came to check up on not me but Annie. Ymir finds a bucket about 2 feet wide and 3 feet tall then she yells "Get the soap Jean!"

_Ymir always thinks of a crazy but fun way to so boring things. Like the time she did a high jump with a bike into a lake when we went for a bike ride._

I smirk while Mikasa goes walking over to Ymir while Sasha says "If I do that will I get that sandwich?" I nod my head while she runs towards Connie grabbing him by the net and ragging him to the back alley. I throw the cloth into the sink while I get dish soap then pouring a shit load into the bucket, "Jesus, I didn't know we had a bucket this big." Ymir smiles while Mikasa leans against the counter watching us. I drop the sYmir splashing the water into the bucket then Reiner comes in the kitchen looking at Ymir and I. After a while Ymir turns off the water then I feel it with my fingers which were really fucking cold "Jesus Ymir, are you trying to give them hyperthermia?" Ymir snickers at me with a grin "They didn't do the Ice Bucket Challenge when I nominated them." Reiner does a face palms while he shrugs "Still going on about this?"

Ymir nominated Connie and Sasha for the ice bucket challenge, but Sasha and Connie are one of those people who are like "Ain't nobody got time for that."

_____________

I stay inside with Annie when she welcomes in the mechanic guy to fix the stove, right away she goes to the back to check what's going on. The guy is short but has a mean look on his face, while followed by other two people walking in a woman who has pig tails on each side with a guy with shaggy hair dirty blond hair. They all go into the kitchen while I finally realize Sasha forgot to clean the mess.

_Jesus, Sasha don't you clean your mess?_

Which I guy hear something clatter on the ground which I see the guy standing there looking at the mess, which he doesn't even ask for permission for cleaning supplies which he digs in the back room coming out with Windex, Mr. clean, a mop, paper towels. A tall dirty blonde hair dude comes walking over towards me wearing ripped jeans, a baggy red shirt and tan work boots, he leans against the counter which he murmurs over to me "He loves to clean, if he sees a mess in a place he has to work on, he will just make it spotless until he can relax. Doesn't matter if it takes him all day or night. He'll do it."

_Looks like this guy was raised on a farm the way he dresses._

I smirk at him then I say "That's called a clean freak." I watch the guy clean and forcing the girl to help clean once I hear girlish screaming and water splashing outside. I face palm while they all look outside which they all look at the back confused, I explain to them "It's nothing. It was just my friends cleaning up themselves. It's fine." I hear muffled laughter by everybody until Connie walks in soaked then a hand pulls him back outside. Ymir walks in smiling like an idiot, Reiner's arm over Bertholdt's shoulder laughing away, Historia smiling trying not to giggle, Eren falling down from laughter which Mikasa and Armin help him stand and Annie's rare occasion of laughing hard.

_I love her laugh. It's like music to my ears and seeing somebody that serious like her laughing makes me feel happy._

Everybody goes into their work stations while Sasha and Connie dries off outside, the guy just looks at everybody which everything gets busy again "My name is Jean, nice to meet you." The guy looks at me with a pleasant look like I'm the only sane one here, which I am not going to lie "My name is Farlan, those two are Isabel and Levi." I reach out my hand while he smiles shaking it, for once I met somebody who isn't crazy like Sasha, somebody serious like Annie, an ass like Reiner. Bertholdt is normal, he just sweats a lot.. What the hell, they're all my friends right? Farlan lets go of my hand while he sticks his hands into his pocket until Levi puts everything to the side while he finally works on the stove. Farlan stands off to the side while Levi works on the stove. Isabel talks to Historia while she begins to bake stuff for the front.

_Maybe I should get back to work too._

I hear Armin yell at me to start serving customers now that we're back open, Eren takes my shift at the cash register while he hands me menus pointing at the table with 4 customers. I recognize that hair style anywhere, Mina. So I'm guessing beside her, Thomas and I smile then I look at Eren. Which he nods then I grab my green apron putting it on. I grab four sets of cutlery with the menus in my arm, I walk over to the table which I see Nac and Samuel sitting at the table too, I pass the cutlery down to the end of the table which I place the menus to them "Wow Jean, I haven't seen you serve before."

_Assholes barley come around here, only on rare occasions when they have nowhere else to go._

I smirk at them then I say "That's because you barley come here when I do, anyways what about your little store? Don't you have enough food there?" Mina waves her hand towards me "I'm sick of store bought food, I need real food." I hear Muse playing in the background which I hear chattering in the background "So do you guys want drinks?" Samuel looks at me saying politly "I'll have iced tea." Mina looks up at me while I noticed her hair grew longer over the years "I'll have a coke, so will Thomas." I smirk at myself "We only have Pepsi, is that good?"

_We actually have Coca Cola, I just like to mess with these guys, a lot._

Mina glares at me while I laugh a bit reaching for the note pad and pen in my apron pocket then starting to write the drinks, Nac looks at up from the menu "I'll have a ginger ale..."

_Still the same drinks from the last time they came around here._

I walk away putting the things into my pocket as I go back to the counter beside Eren "What is it like to be out there again?" I hear Eren say to me when I lean against the counter when I reply to him "It's pretty much the same." Eren smiles at me when he looks somewhere else in the restaurant distance while I see my ex girlfriend, with another guy at a table. I look back at Eren when he gives me two other menus then I turn around muttering under my breath "Asshole." I grab two sets of cutlery on my way. I stand beside the table where my ex sits down with a guy with a black bowl cut when she looks up at me with cat like eyes while her hair reaches down to her chin shrugging while she says "Why do you have to serve us?"

_As I said before, the bitchiest person you'll meet, if you do get on her bad side._

I look down at her running my fingers through my hair "It's either ordering or getting out. The others are busy. It's only been 5 months and you've already found a guy to date, Hitch?" Hitch look up to me while I place down cutlery on their right side of the table. I give them menus as Hitch grabs the menu "His name is Marlo and we've been dating for 2 months, just so you know."

_Is this a good time to fire back some shots at her finally? It is a good time._

I roll my eyes when I pat Marlo's shoulder saying to him "If you haven't made it to the base yet, but she's good at licking balls." Marlo looks at me while Hitch just has her mouth open looking at me "Is there anything you guys want to drink?" Hitch rolls her eyes while Marlo smiles at me trying to hold back a laugh "I'll have a coke, and Hitch will have sprite." I smirk while I walk away.

_I like that guy, looks like he tried not to laugh at the burn I said to Hitch._

Eren face palms at me, I'm guessing he heard it. I hear chatter in the background when I make my way to the kitchen while I sigh when I notice Levi, Isabel, and Farlan are just heading out of the back door. Bertholdt throws in bread dough into the oven with 6 bread dough pieces on a large cookie sheet. Sasha turns on the stove, yelling with glee until she put oil on a pan. I stand beside Connie as he cuts up the vegetables. Annie opens the freezer door open pulling out meat, I see Reiner peeling potatoes then throwing them into a large pot.

_Fuckers know how to cook meat really well. I always make them too cooked, too burnt, undercooked. Well not exactly my mother taught me how to make her famous omlets. They're like sex in your mouth if you ask me._

Everybody is so busy back here compared to the front. It's only Mikasa, Eren, Armin and I working at the front.

_I was chosen to be a chef but then I passed, then I chose to help in the front with waitering. I suck at cooking and baking anyways._

 I notice Connie and Sasha is wearing the extra restaurant uniforms from the closet, then I say to Connie "Good thing they cleaned you." Connie smirks at me when he look at me for a few second in the corner of his eye "Ymir fucking tricked us into doing the ice bucket challenge with cold ass water. I thought it would be warm." I throw back my head laughing softly into the air "As expected as Ymir."

_Never trust Ymir, if you don't do something you don't want to do. She'll find a way for you to do it._

I walk towards the cups grabbing four of them, soon grabbing coke, iced tea, ginger ale, ice, and lemon slices out of the fridge and freezer. I grab a tray from the upper cupboard, placing the cups on the tray then filling up the cups with ice then pouring the drinks in there. I put on a slice of lemon on the side as I yell at somebody to make more iced tea.

_Iced tea always runs out so quickly, probably because Bertholdt makes the best iced tea around. It's fucking great if you mix it with vodka. I figured that out when we were all having drinks at Reiner and Bertholdt's house._

I walk I walk back to the front walking towards Mina and the others putting the drinks where they should be, pulling out the note book when I say "Are you guys ready to order?" Mina points at the menu saying "I want a burger, with a side of fries and onion rings!" I face palm while I say "I write it down on my note book while I look at Nac "I'll have the BLT sandwich with a side of curly fries." Samuel opens his mouth while Thomas interrupts him "I'll have the same as Mina." Samuel says his order from Thomas' interruption "I'll have a large poutine."

_They make us sound like we don't know how to cook fancy ass food, which we can cook fancy ass food. Well, the others can._

I rip off the page shoving it into my jeans pocket moving to the kitchen I hang up the little page on the clipper thingy what the fuck it's called. I move to the kitchen filling up cups on the tray doing the same thing as before. Soon delivering them to Hitch and Marlo. Soon Marlo and Hitch ordered a chicken strip plate, and a salad.

_I was surprised because Hitch ordered the chicken strips and Marlo ordered the salad._

_______________

I sit down on the stool near Eren sighing of relief then Eren says "Long day?" I sigh then I nod my head, I look at the time on my watch until I stretch my arm when Mikasa and Armin are at the counter preparing drinks, I walk back to the kitchen going out the back door they have a cigarette, Mikasa follows me outside along with Connie.

_This is rare for Connie to come sit outside with us on breaks. Even busy days today._

I sit on the bucket Ymir left outside while I see the water drying up with soap stains on the concrete, Mikasa sits on the dumpster with a backpack with her, while she takes out a beer then tossing on to Connie and I, I take out my cigarette out of my pocket and my lighter lighting up my cigarette I look at Mikasa opening up a beer while Connie pulls out a blunt out of his pocket then I look at him "Right now?"

_Connie the stoner, the only person who will smoke up on the worst times._

Connie looks at me pulling out a lighter of his pocket then he explains "I do things better when I smoke." Mikasa takes a shot out of her beer then adding "Is it like a brain boost?" Connie nods while he being to smoke, I in hale smoke from my cigarette as Sasha comes out which Connie doesn't freak out he just lays back until Sasha takes the blunt then throws it at the ground yelling "Connie! I told you not to do it anymore! You get seriously stupid when you do it!"

_As expected as Connie, I knew he was bull shitting. He doesn't get smarter when he does it. I see him when he's on drugs. He's stupid as hell._

I light out my cigarette on the ground while Sasha drags Connie inside the building leaving Mikasa and I behind outside. I look at Mikasa taking a chug of my beer "You know, about the whole thing last year. I really did tell the truth." Mikasa looks down breaking the eye contact with me just drinking her beer shrugging "I know."

_I had confessed my feelings to Mikasa last year, but she just ignored me and kept gawing over Eren._

"But, you and the whole thing about Eren. I'm just really glad, and I just want the best for what makes you happy." Mikasa nods at my statement which I ask "How did you and Eren meet? You never told us before." Mikasa looks at me when smiles slightly "I guess I should tell somebody right?"

_Mikasa is a person who will love you, take care of you, worry about you, and be with you on the toughest times. She will be there for you. Maybe it's my turn to be there for her._

"It's your choice." Mikasa looks at the ground before talking taking a shot of her beer "It’s not a pretty story. It’s not like those stories where parents make two kids meet each other. Well it was going to be that story, but everything changed. I was only 8 years old. I was going for a drive with my parents at these back roads. My parents said they wanted me to meet him, because Eren's father and my parents knew each other and were close friends." Mikasa look down, putting her hand on her head while I hear her voice going shaky which I stand up walking towards her rubbing her back

_I understand Mikasa, it's hard to talk about your past. A past where it brought you pain and changed you._

"Then, there were these drunks walking on the road with knives in their hands. My father stopped driving, honking his horn, until they got angry then started breaking the window.. My mother yelled at him to start driving fast, and he listened.. There were steep hills nearby and they didn't put railing." Mikasa throws her beer on the ground putting both hands on her head running her fingers through her hair while I hug her "My father went off the hill, because the brakes were broken. We couldn't stop.. We hit a tree causing us to go rolling down the hill. I had my seatbelt on in such a complicated way, which is why I survived.. I was fooling around in the back using all three seat belts, making it really tight and stuff which it saved my life."

_Maybe that's why Mikasa always tells us to drive slowly when there are drunks and hills nearby. Mikasa never drives a vehicle. This explains why._

"When the truck stopped rolling all I heard was yelling, I saw Eren pulling me out of the car then everything went black. When I woke up, it was already time for me to leave the hospital because I didn't have any serious injuries, I was just unconscious and my heart beat was slowing down. When I woke up, I saw Eren's dad and Eren standing there. Eren's father broke the news to be because, they died instantly. I don't know what exactly happened and I don't want to know what happened to them. I didn't have anywhere else to go. They offered me to live with them, I'm not adopted. I was just living with them."

_Hearing this breaks my heart, a beautiful girl like Mikasa has went through so much. She's strong, strong willed, and has wits._

"A few years later, I found out the car was actually on fire. Which is why Eren went running down to check if we were okay. After all these years, I wouldn't be here without them." I pat her back while I give her the rest of my beer then I say "I didn't know.. I'm sorry Mikasa, but I gotta work." Mikasa nods staying there with the beer in her hand, I open the door while I look back at Mikasa sitting there chugging down the beer.

_I suck at comforting people, I always try my best to comfort them but I always do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing, which what I did right now._

________________

As I walk with a tray full of food and drinks I go down the walk way which had a red rug and passing the dark wooden tables. I set down the tray on the table looking at some people handing them their food and drinks, I bow down a bit "Your welcome."

_I always have to boost up my manners when I work, because Eren always calls me a sassy asshole with a ratchet ass hair cut. Asshole._

I walk away passing Eren serving other customers. I see Mikasa smiling preparing some drinks for the people who like to drink that come around here.

_It's funny how a bunch of young people in their early 20s opened the best restaurant in Trost. We're all just kids who know how to cook, mix drinks, serve, bake, and have responsibilities. Jesus I make it sounds like we're the best people around here in which we're not._

I go towards the counter where Connie sets down a steak with some sauces and a side of mashed potatoes and then Sasha sets down a bowl of pea soup.

_Jesus, who wants to eat pea soup?_

I take a paper of the order looking at it taking some plates and making my way to the table.

_We always close at 10pm at night, then open up at 10 in the morning. It's stupid that a bunch of ratchet ass college students come around to drink, but hell. We all could use a laugh and some other people to drink with who are around our age._

I take a look at my watch sitting at 9:22pm, while Armin sits down beside me on the table when I hear dishes clattering and a bunch of splashing in the back "Today was busy wasn't it?" I nod my head putting the plate on the table. I look at the college students having drinks laughing while they filter out one by one. I watch Annie chugs an entire cup full of straight vodka then while another guy punches her on the arm yelling solid. Mikasa laughs a bit while mixing a drink.

_I'm really happy with my life, I have my own apartment, I work with all of my friends at this restaurant we opened when we were young, my parents are having another kid, single, not a fuck to give to the world._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and the gang have the occasional Friday dinner at Jean's house with some friendship vibes going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >   
>  In many ways, they'll miss the good old days.  
> Someday, someday.  
> Yeah, it hurts to say, but I want you to stay.  
> Sometimes, sometimes.  
> When we was young, oh man, did we have fun.  
> Always, always.  
> Promises, they break before they're made.  
> Sometimes, sometimes.  
> 
> 
> ""~The Strokes - Somedays  
> _  
> Sorry guys that this chapter took so long! I was stuck in the writer's block and busy trying to get caught up with school. I hope this chapter will be enough for you guys!

In my apartment I throw myself on my couch turning on the television. I unlock my iPhone when I look at the wallpaper of the whole gang doing random faces or peace signs in front of a mountain we went climbing on last summer.

_I remember when I was fucking around with Connie when I was pretending that we had to cut the rope, his scream was so loud pitch and loud. He was just hugging the rope for dear life when we all busted out laughing but then Annie and Historia agreed with each other it wasn't funny._

 

Lowering down my hand onto my lap with my phone I throw my head back on my couch looking at the ceiling, looking at the swirls piecing the art together.

_Art is beautiful. Art can express anything you can think of. Like, explain how the sky looks, how beautiful a certain person is, or explaining what has been built up right inside you._

 

I remember when I first started drawing, I sucked balls at it but it has taken me where I am. My parents had tried to support me to get into college, but I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay with everybody else and work at the restaurant. The whole reason we got the restaurant is because I reasoned my father and then he loved it. Here's how it went, my mother wanted me to go to college and my father wanted me to take his place at this fancy ass work place- Come on Jean, stop thinking you know what happens when you over think. You start to get sad, drowning in your own thoughts, and then you think everything is worse. Come on.

Throwing myself out of the couch I walk to my stereo that Sasha and Connie got me for my birthday last year. I plug in my phone into the stereo as I press unlock my phone going into the music app, I scroll through my music on my phone as I click on a random Strokes song. I always listen to this song whenever I feel gloomy. I sigh of relief while I tap my feet for a bit walking to my window closing the curtains.

I shake the tension off my shoulders, I spin around starting to move my body with the beat. I smile a bit when I flick my hair around like an idiot.

_This almost reminds me of the time when I first met Hitch- stop it Jean, don't think about it. Just enjoy yourself._

_"In many ways, they'll miss the good old days. Someday, someday."_

There was this one time in high school when I met Mikasa trying to pick her up with this cheesy pick up line. I always wanted a dream girl with black hair and beautiful eyes. She's extremely talented and skilled. Which makes me want her more, but she's with Eren and that can't change anything. I scoff under my breath as I move around dancing like there's no tomorrow.

_"Yeah, it hurts to say, but I want you to stay. Sometimes, sometimes."_

I don't anybody to go away, I want all of us to stay together and call each other family.

_"When we was young, oh man, did we have fun. Always, always."_

_Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Ymir, Annie, and I used to go around Throst and throw eggs at random people's houses and knock on their door leaving a note of dickbutt on there then run down the street. We may be annoying shits but we got to live while we're young right?_  

_"Promises, they break before they're made. Sometimes, sometimes."_

_Promises are sometimes made to be broken. Some are not to be broken, but are broken-_

I hear a knock on my door loudly when I rush over to the stereo and turn down my music. I hold the volume control while I look around my stereo making sure it wasn't one of those noise complaints my neighbor makes. I hear another knock while I rush to my door. I peek when I open the door when I see a couple of familiar faces, Bertoldt, Reiner, Ymir, and Historia.

_Why are they here?_

I open the door widely when I notice Ymir is holding two cases of beer in her hands then I say “Why are you guys here?” Reiner raises his eyebrow then he says unfolding his arms from his chest walking past me “It’s Friday Jean.” Ymir wiggles her eyebrow then she says “We can get turnt today.” I sigh while I hold my forehead. Bertholdt walks past me with a tray full of bread enough for all of us to eat.

_I totally forgot that it was Friday._

“Sorry Jean, I probably should’ve texted you before we came so abruptly.” Historia smiles at me while Ymir says in the living room “Jean, are you going to cook something or what? The others are coming soon.” Historia walks down the hallway to the living room where Reiner is plopped on my couch. I walk into my living room when I see Bertholdt looking out the window. Historia is already setting up a table that I keep handy in my closet. I sigh while I walk to my kitchen I open the fridge while I pull out a bunch of ingredients for egg salad “I hope nobody is allergic to egg salad because that’s all I can make right now!” I yell at them while I hear Historia right beside me “Jean, do you need any help?”  I hand Historia red and green peppers gently while I give her a smirk “You can cut those while I boil the macaroni and eggs.”

_I get my cooking skills by my mother. I tried making my mother’s famous omelet; all I did was mess it up and made it taste like shit._

I get out an entire carton of eggs while I fill up two pots of water, salting one pot of water for the macaroni, I open the cupboard reaching for the macaroni when I hear Ymir say loudly “Jean, you have good taste in music, but you don’t have the right type of music for this moment.” I stop reaching for the macaroni then I turn to Ymir seeing her switching my phone to hers. I walk to Ymir stopping her hand from playing her music then she says “What the hell? Can’t I just play my music?” I say back to her with a tight grip on her wrist “I let you play it last time. So, it’s my turn to play music this time." Reiner sighs while he gets up from the chair saying “Guys, Jean like Alternative, Indie rock, alternative rock, while you Ymir like heavy metal and rock. I think we need something else this Friday. You guys always play your music every time anyways.” Reiner splits our hands apart before anything could get more heat. Reiner crosses his arms turning to look at Bertholdt “Hey, Bert? Did you happen to bring your phone?” Bertholdt stands up walking towards us pulling out his phone “Yeah, why?” Reiner grabs his phone away gently then he moves in between Ymir and I. Reiner plugs in Bertholdt’s phone then plays some dupstep Bertholdt always listens to.

_Bertholdt’s music is crazy but also chill. Bertholdt always finds those kinds of songs that nobody else would hear, around our group anyways._

Reiner plays this song that always gets the place worked up, or as Ymir would call it- “Getting the party started, I like it.”

_There it is._

I turn around seeing Historia looking at us then I see Connie and Sasha laughing together walking in my kitchen Connie holding foldable chairs and Sasha holding a pot with oven mitts on. I walk beside Sasha looking over her shoulder then she says “I made something, for all of us to enjoy, Jean!”

_Please let it be Sasha’s Chilli, please let it be Sasha’s chilli, pleeeaaseeee_

Sasha opens the lid of the pot revealing the chilli she makes occasionally. I smile at her kissing her on the cheek hugging her then I say “Sasha, I love your chilli. I was almost starting to miss it.” I lift Sasha off her feet squeezing her in the air while Connie sets down the last foldable chair at the table while. I close my eyes as I spin around with her in my arms. I open my eyes as I see Sasha smiling full of joy. I put down Sasha as Historia giggles a bit finishing up cutting up the vegetables.

_I love making Sasha laugh, I love making anybody laugh, even Mikasa_

I start the stove on the highest heat possible for the eggs to boil. I throw in the entire carton of eggs and turning on another spot on the perfect heat. Putting in macaroni in the other pot Historia goes back in the living room after washing her hands. I hear a knock on the door then soon after I yell “Somebody get that! That might be Jeager!”

_Eren is always the last one here. Damn, Mikasa might’ve cooked something already. I should’ve cooked something when I had the chance. Instead of stalling after work._

Connie shouts back to me “I got it!” I think I actually hear Connie _slip_ in my hallway. I face palm when I hear Connie shout “I’m okay!” I hear Connie open the door saying “Annie! My main pal.” I hear Annie mumble something then Connie running back to the living room. With this dupstep playing in the background it doesn’t really set the mood, I hear Sasha yell “Dupstep?! Why can’t we listen to The Neighbourhood, Imagine Dragons, or Atlas Genius?”

_I hope this doesn’t break into another mini fight._

I leave the eggs and Macaroni to boil. I grab my phone near the Stereo then I look at Reiner “I have somebody who wants to listen to Alternative... Can we?” Reiner sighs then nods, I take off Bertholdt’s phone then I set it off to the side with Ymir’s phone. I play this playlist for Alternative music only, possibly some other music. I shuffle the play list while it starts to play Sweater Weather by the neighbourhood.

I turn around seeing my couch is full by Historia, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, and Ymir. I go to my room pulling off my bed off of the bed frame dragging it out to my living room. I turn my head then I try to kick the coffee table away “Move that, Move it.” Ymir moves the coffee table to the side then I put down the bed on my floor then I run over my bed getting my blankets and pillows. I throw them down on my bed while I smile at my friends.

“Wow Jean, this is better than all of us squeezing on the couch.” Ymir grins at me when I fall back on my bed smiling starting to watch television, Connie slides down right beside me saying “I’d rather be down here than up there.” Connie winking at me with a grin

_Please no sexual reference._

“That’s what she said.” Sasha says with a snort in her throat. Ymir adds to the conversation with a bit of joy in her voice “What do you mean? It could go to guys also.” Reiner agrees with a hum while Bertholdt says something unusual even for him to say “What if it can go to she-male too.”

_What the actual fuck is going on right now?_

“S-stop- Just stop right there.” I face palm lying on my bed when Berthodt takes Connie’s place in the couch. Sasha slouches down on the couch while Annie sits down on the couch leaning on Reiner’s legs. Historia points out the scene with all of us here together “Look at us,” Everybody looks at Historia while she smiles at us “We’re here together. We met each other by each other. What are the odds of that?” Ymir chuckles at me with a grin on her face. While her arm is over Historia’s shoulder taking a shot of her beer. “I wish I didn’t meet horse face here.”

_Hah, I love you too, Ymir._

“Fuck you too.” I shake my head looking back at the television screen. I hear Eren’s obnoxious voice filling the voice “What’s up? What’s up?” Eren walks in the living room with sun glasses on while Armin smiles at Eren. Mikasa comes in the room with a tray of crackers, cheese, and different choices of meats. I point at my table and the extra table set up “Just put them there with the other stuff.” I get up from my mattress on the floor checking the macaroni and eggs.  Mikasa gives me a little smile from the edge of her mouth with eye full of peace. I can feel myself burn up, from my cheeks to my ears.

_I haven’t felt like this in a while.._

“Jean, the macaroni.” Eren says when he notices that I’ve been looking at Mikasa like that. I stop myself from getting any ideas. I stir the macaroni a bit, while I take the eggs off the stove immediately pouring the hot water in the sink with my oven mitts on. I put cold water in the pot while I check the trick everybody uses for spaghetti, noodles, and macaroni by throwing it at a vertical surface. I grab a peice with the wooden spoon and throw it at the wall.

I take the macaroni off the stove getting a bowl that has some sort of holes at the bottom.

_What is it called again? Brainfart. Jeeze_  

I put the eggs off to the side on the counter while I pour the macaroni into the bowl “Can somebody help me up here?” Armin comes running over while he gets out a bowl from the lower cupboard I nod at him “Thanks Armin.” I look down at Armin as I pour the macaroni in the bowl, I get a bottle of mayonnaise out of the fridge then I say “Can you mix those vegetables and that white shit in? While I get the eggs ready?” Armin nods while he hums to the music in the background. I start to peel the eggs grinning thinking about what Historia said a little while ago.

_How am I so lucky to be friends with these people?_

As I’m finished with the eggs I mix around the eggs in the salad while I throw it in the fridge to chill for half an hour. I sigh of relief then I jump on my mattress looking at the television “Can somebody pass me a beer?” Annie tosses me one while I rest my head on Connie’s legs opening my beer watching some fails that dumbass people do. I laugh with everybody that some guy fell off his bike trying to do a front flip off a ramp. I take a chug of my beer spilling on my shirt “Shit.” I trying to wipe off the beer but it already went in my shirt “Slob.” Ymir says to me while I turn my head towards her “You should see your apartment.” Historia giggles at me while Reiner nods his head. Ymir rolls her eyes saying “Whatever.” I look back at the screen when I see in the corner of my eye seeing Sasha holding her hand over her mouth “Oh. My. God.” It shows a guy who _broke_ his wrist from doing the jump in slow motion.

_Why do I fill my head with these kinds of shows?_

I rub my head running my fingers through my hair while I mutter under my breath “Dumbasses.”

 

____________________

 

We all sit down making room for one another with dinner plates and bowls covering the table. I smile a bit while we all pour another beer in glass cups to make ourselves look _civil_. Connie gets up to open the curtain and windows “Why do we need that open?” Annie looks at us while Armin cuddles in her arms across from me. Connie turns around smirking at us saying loudly “So the people ACROSS from you can see the lovely dinner we’re having together, as FREINDS.” I rub my face while I cover my mouth pointing to the empty chair beside me “Just come sit your ass down now.” Connie groans while he sits down in between Sasha and me. Eren lifts up his glass then he stands up from his chair “Since it is my turn to say something this dinner together. I have no big speech an all but all I can say is, Jean you horse fucker. Praise the walls! Cheers!” I give Eren the bird while I smile widely I give Connie and Annie a clink “Cheers!” All of us say in a happy tone, while Bertholdt says scoffing in his breath saying “Cheers.”, later on.  Basically we all try to get cheers from everybody at the table even if it means we have to reach, I mean _reach_ to get a cheer. I get a cheer from Mikasa and Eren at the end of the table by crawling on the table almost knocking people’s beer off.

_These people are fucking assholes. I love them._

I take a chug from my cup while I say “Let’s dig in.” I lift the lid off Sasha’s pot while I get a good amount of chilli “Aw yes..” I pour the chilli in my bowl putting down the handle with Connie already man handling the damn thing. I reach for a piece of bread and putting my egg salad on my plate. I grab cheese and crackers to put them off to the side, Eren starts blabbing off to this one time in high school about when I tried to jump Marlo, but I just got my ass kicked. I chew my bread as I reply to him ginning “At least it isn’t like that time you tried to get _laid_ to that short serious as fuck dude last year.” Eren yells across the table as Connie laughs saying he remembers that time “That was one time! I got really drunk and I sorta found him attractive.”

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure you were._

“Okay, okay, you were ‘drunk’.” I use my fingers as commas to tease Eren, while Eren throws a piece of bread at me while he raises his eyebrows drinking his beer. I pick up the bread as I throw it back.

“Oi Armin, what was that thing you were going to?” Reiner looks at Armin while Armin sips on his chilli then he slaps his hands together looking big eyed at me, then soon pointing at me with one hand soon getting up from his chair then walking around the table then tugging me on the shirt. Armin is actually dragging me into _my_ bedroom. I see Annie giving a raised eyebrow chewing on her food. Armin closes the door turning on the lights then he says “Okay, I’ve been wondering about this for a while now. Eren isn’t the type of person I would run to for relationships because Mikasa is the one working out that relationship.-“

_Wait, what?_

“It something wrong with you and Annie?” I say to Armin putting my hand on his shoulder.

_Even if there was something wrong between them I wouldn’t think Armin would be so happy about it._

“What? No.” Armin shoves my hand off his shoulder as he turns to look out the window looking down at the cars passing by on the street. Armin sighs as he says “I love Annie.. She made my world seem more fun. Even though it was already fun.”

_Can I crack a joke right here?_

“I mean, she is perfect to me. Everything is perfect about her.”

_Yep, I can._

“Annie is fun?” I smile while I put my hand on my hip while trying not to laugh. Armin turns leaning on the wall, “She may be dull, but in that bedroom. _Whoo.”_

_I didn’t need to know that._

I grab my office chair sitting down on it then I put my chin on the back rest while my legs are spread apart “Okay, just go on.” Armin smiles looking down maybe needing a few moments to figure out the words needed to say it “I-I want to marry Annie.” I can feel my eyes widen while I sit up properly.

_Marriage... huh?_

“Do you have a ring?” I ask Armin while Armin sighs with a slight disappointment “That’s the problem.” Armin puts his hand on the window sill slightly arching his back looks back outside “It’s the ring, the wedding, the parties, everything for a girl’s dream wedding. Annie may seem different, but she’s just like every other girl. That’s why I want to ask you for help on fundraising Annie’s ring. If she says yes, then there’s going to be more fundraising.” I stand up from the chair walking over to Armin then I say “Annie is going to say yes. I know she will. I see the way she seeks comfort and the way she looks at you. She is in _love_ with you.” Armin smiles at me looking straight at me in the eye then he says “You can’t tell anybody else though.”

“I promise not to tell anybody.” Armin makes a fist towards me “Just to make sure.”

_The hand shake? Why?_

I sigh while I make a fist and hitting Armin’s fist on the top and Armin hits the top of mine then we walk to the door opening it as we door the _high five_ “It’s a promise then.”

_Armin and his damn handshakes._

The handshakes are basically a promise thing where we can’t break it. I mean if we break it, we can’t go to the dinner at all for 5 weeks. That means 5 Fridays without the gang.

“They did the hand shake.” I hear somebody say the table while Reiner smiles at Armin then I rush back to the conversation and most importantly my food.“Hey Bert, remember when we first met Jean here?” Bertholdt smiles at the thought while Reiner taste a bite of the salad then he says “Connie was there also.” Connie laughs uncontrollably slapping me on the arm “Good old Jean-y here a-actually fucked a h-horse.”

_Wait what the actual fuck?_

I turn my head to Connie then Bertholdt snorts loudly then he says quietly “I remember that.” Eren bursts out laughing with everybody else following “Horse-ception!” Eren cackles loudly, Reiner takes a sip of his beer, wiping his mouth “You had one too many drinks that night Jean. You don’t even remember now. Connie, show him the video.”

_They actually have a video?!_

I can feel myself tense up that I know everybody would see it. Connie pulls out his phone then scrolling through his photos then I hear Connie say “Here it is!” Connie about to show me that damn video I push the phone away “I don’t want to see that, that, that fucked up pornography.” Everybody gathers around the phone except Reiner, Bertholdt, and Mikasa. I run both of my hands on my hand while I chug down my beer while I hear Reiner saying on the video all bubbly “J-Jean? What are you doing?” I hear something fall. _Fall._ Then I hear cackling hearing myself fucking say the legendary line “I’m about to go inside a horse!” I hear Ymir spits out her beer then beginning to laugh while Sasha is eating her bread. Eren slaps me on the back making me spit my beer back into my cup “What the actual fuck Jean!” Eren is laughing so hard that he can’t even breathe or even stand up.

_I never felt this shameful before. Help me god._

I feel a soft rubbing on my back. I’m guessing that’s Historia, I praise you Historia.

___________________

After the dinner the last ones to leave are Connie and Sasha. This was such a fun night, but not as fun as doing dishes. I start the water in my sink when I think about Armin wanting to propose to Annie. Armin, Armin, Armin, we placed a bet on who would marry first. I placed my bet on Historia, there goes my twenty bucks. I throw my dish towel over my shoulder as I put dishes into the sink.

_But, Armin... and Annie. Armin, wanting to marry Annie._

Armin had big dreams about having the perfect wedding with the perfect person. Armin is the soft kind. Annie is the harsh kind. I can still see it working between those two. Annie can fight. Armin can fuck with your head. I don’t know.. I don’t know who else is going to be proposing next. It’s not me that’s for certain.

Well, looks like I’m going to start to clean this mess. 


	4. Chapter 4

 I rub my forehead while I let out a big sigh opening my eyes tiredly, I run my fingers through my hair. I raise my arms in the air reaching for the ceiling, I rub my eyes afterwards.

_Just any regular morning as always._

I peel my back off my bed while I look around still rubbing my right eye. I could use some Tylenol right now with this hangover. I look to my right side of my bed when I see Eren laying down still sleeping. I go over Eren’s body looking at my clock ’10:14 am’. I push Eren’s face away lying back down.

_It’s only Eren sleeping in my bed._

I crawl to the end of my bed while throwing my blanket off to the side.

_Wait, Eren... In my bed._

I turn my head back to the body sleeping. I turn my body to get a better look at him. I look at the face while I see a snoring sleeping Eren.

_Eren is in MY bed._

I backup in my bed while I feel my foot slip off my bed when my back slaps the wooden floors while I hear Eren grumble waking up. I groan getting up while I see Eren waking up. Eren’s hair is a mess, with drool at the corner of his mouth. Eren wipes the drool while he fully opens his eyes seeing me in my black boxers. Eren takes a look around then rushes out of bed saying “What the actual fuck.” Eren backs up to the wall near the bed in his green muscle top and boxers. I’m on the other side of the room on my ass against the cold wall. I hear a pound on the door with a familiar voice saying “What’s going on in there?”

_I thought Connie and Sasha were the last ones to leave last night._

“What happened last night?” Eren looks at me with confusion walking while I gesture my shoulders saying I don’t know. I walk over to Eren grabbing him by the shirt then beginning to drag him out of my room. “Jean, wait what are you doing?” I open my door seeing Bertholdt washing my table with a cloth. I pull Eren closer while he says “Ow, Jean, you’re choking me.” I kick Eren’s back to get him out my room “Ow!” Eren jumps a bit when I kicked him. I slam the door behind me while I press my back on the white door.

_I really hope nothing happened last night. I don’t even remember what happened last night. All I remember is me wanting to clean up._

I sigh sliding down the door while I hear laughter. I hear Connie knocking on the door laughing his ass off then saying “Yo Jean, what happened in there last night?” I hear Sasha laughing with him too. I curl up in shame hugging my legs with my chin resting on my knee, with Sasha and Connie still laughing their asses off “I didn’t know you had a thing for _Eren.”_  I lower my head digging in my knees and arms. I hear Reiner shooing Connie and Sasha away.

_I don’t have a thing for Eren. Eren is not my type. I’m not even interested in guys. Guys, I only like girls and girls only._

I begin to get up slowly off the floor, “Jean? You okay?” I stand up slouching a bit opening the door seeing Reiner looking at me, I rub my head for a bit “Y-yeah.. I’m just going to get dressed.” Reiner snorts a bit holding back a laugh, “Okay Jean, we made breakfast for you. It’s going to be waiting for you on the table.” I nod my head hearing a small click from the door. I hear Reiner burst out laughing _hard._

_I knew Reiner couldn’t be that serious about that._

Now it’s time to choose what to wear. I look at the large mirror resting on the dressed leaning on the wall. I walk over there looking at my face, I sigh opening the drawer revealing a bunch of my clothes. I pull out dark blue denim looking button up shirt. I slide in my arms looking at myself again. I open another drawer taking light blue jeans and a black belt. As I finish putting on my socks I once again look in the mirror grabbing my comb, brushing out every little mess that is in my hair.

I step out of my room seeing Bertholdt, Eren, Sasha, Connie, and Reiner sitting around in my apartment, I walk across my apartment getting my phone. Reiner whistles at me while I unplug my phone from my charger near the television stand “Not bad after looking like shit after a hangover.” I say sarcastically turning to Reiner putting my phone in my back jeans pocket “One the gifts of Jean Kirstein.” Eren is still in his sleeping clothes then he says yawning while stretching on my couch “Like taking straight guys to bed?” I look at Eren flipping him off while walking to the kitchen. I see a plate of eggs, potato patties, and beans on a plate with a side of toast sitting on the counter still warm “Sasha went for a run to the store, and she almost ate your potato patties because you were taking so long to get up.” I pull out a stool from under the counter, a fart like noise comes out and Sasha snorts.

_I’m still bothered by that fact that Eren was in my bed and everybody is still here._

The cold stainless steel tucked safely in my finger while I take a bite out of the eggs, I look down at my food while I hear chatter from the television “Hey you guys, what happened after the others left?” Bertholdt looks at Reiner while Reiner raises an eyebrow then Connie says “You called us over, had a couple more drinks. Then you kind of got.. drunk.”

_I don’t usually forget things, I got a decent memory. I can remember the best memories I have._

I shrug in my seat tensing up a bit while Sasha comes walking over to me sitting down next to me pulling out her phone. Sasha steals a piece of egg off my plate as I chew my toast. I see her typing something on the text message. I swallow my toast hard as I hit Sasha on the hip while I lean closer to her ear “Sash, what happened last night?” Sasha looks at me with sunglasses resting on top of her head when my lip accidently touches her stud. I go back eating my breakfast while she says “I wasn’t here last night, I just came back to pick up Connie.” Connie turns his head to us while he snorts sarcastically “Jean, we’re not telling you what happened last night.” Reiner nods his head while Bertholdt walks towards the hallway putting on his jacket “Where are you going?”

_I don’t really talk to Bertholdt now, but I guess it’s time to start talking to him often now._

Bertholdt slighty smiles at me, scratching the back of his head pulling out a pack of cigarettes “I was uh, going to have a smoke.” I chew my food faster grabbing my conveniently placed leather jacket on my counter, I heard a clank that caused Sasha to turn her head at me. Sliding my arms in the sleeves walking towards Bertholdt, I look at everybody “Anybody else coming?” Everybody shakes their heads zipping up my jacket, I hum a bit walking down the hallway with Bertholdt.

___

I feel my face touch the cold air when I hear a crunch of snow under my feet, I reach in my pocket picking out my pack of cigarettes Bertholdt walks to the bench under a large tree near the parking lot. A open spot of frozen dirt covers the area while I make my way next to him.

_I love this time of spring, snow is melting but still there. The perfect weather, I fucking love spring._

Bertholdt exhale second hand smoke into the air sighing with the cigarette twined in his fingers as he leans forwards rubbing his eye and resting his head on his hand. I sit down next to Bertholdt reaching for a lighter while I say “I can’t remember what happened last night, all I remember are Connie and Sasha leaving last.” Bertholdt smiles a bit then he says softly after taking in another breath of smoke “Connie came back outside to drag Reiner, Eren, and I back in.” Bertholdt looks at me turning his head lightly, soon leaning back to the bench, “Nothing happened last night. When you and Eren passed out, they just put Eren in your bed for the jokes of it, besides you didn’t get drunk. They decided you were drunk because you were being yourself.”

_That’s weird. Maybe I should check a doctor. This has been going on for a little while._

I inhale smoke into my lungs hearing the sirens in the distance sound, hearing children laugh, cry, and young teenagers talk. A car zooms by snapping me out of spacing out. I take out my phone checking my text just in case I didn’t message anybody something stupid. I sigh of relief when I see a text from Mikasa.

**Mikasa:** Make sure Eren doesn’t do anything stupid ok?

**Mikasa:** Jean?

**Mikasa:** Hello?

**Jean:** Yeah, I promise you.

**Mikasa:** Thanks.

I put away my phone in my pocket. I get more comfortable on the bench enjoying my smoke. I look up at the tree while the leaves are starting to grow. I watch the smoke drift around the air. The air dancing with the smoke, Bertholdt lets out a stressful sigh. I look back at him raising an eyebrow as he throws the cigarette on the ground rubbing his face. Bertholdt turns his head at me then saying “Can you tell Reiner that I went home?” I watch Bertholdt make his way to the parking lot and their truck.

_Option A... Go upstairs and tell Reiner and there’s Option B... Go run over to Bertholdt and ask him what’s wrong._

I light out my cigarette as I watch Bertholdt take keys out of his pocket while unlocking his truck. I sigh softly then I get up jogging towards Bertholdt. Bertholdt closes the truck door then opening the window dumping out old coffee. Before Bertholdt could fully close the window I put my hand at the window then Bertholdt looks at me sighing putting on the parking gear.

_Is Bertholdt really giving me that rare “Are you fucking kidding me” look? He only gives it to Reiner when he’s pissed and Bertholdt is not the pissed off kind._

“Hey uh, Bert... I-is something wrong?” Bertholdt face palms leaning back on the seat “Nothing’s wrong.” I smirk lightly then I lean on the truck with my right arm, I look at Bertholdt then I say “Yeah, something is wrong. Do you kind of... Want to talk about it?” Bertholdt smiles lightly looking at me still “Really?” I nod my head of approval. I even add a fucking hum. Bertholdt closes his eye unlocking the door cleaning up the garbage around shoving in a plastic bag “Uh, get in then... We’ll get a coffee or something.”

_I really hope this doesn’t get awkward as hell. I haven’t talked to Bert one on one since graduation._

I close truck door then buckling myself in. Bertholdt buckles himself in the seat opening bottled water beside him, taking a shot he coughs from inhaling the water. I snort then he inhale a bit more then he stops coughing after a while. Bertholdt clears his throat then looks at me “You okay?” I say to Bertholdt then he nods at me.

_I’m not exactly the type to be asking people if they are okay, or going for drives to help them sort out their problems._

I lean back on the seat while Bertholdt moves his seat forward beginning to drive. Bertholdt makes his way out of the parking lot then beginning to drive on the main road with traffic on there “So, what’s wrong?” Bertholdt quickly looks at me then he sighs while saying “Its Reiner...”

_Reiner?_

“What about Reiner?” I look at Bertholdt focus on the road trying to figure out what to say, Bertholdt scratching his hair turning on the heat “He’s wanting... To split up for a while... Just a break so we can be free for a bit.”

_That’s good isn’t it?_

“How do you feel about that?” I ask him while I watch the road in front of us as the cars pass by, watching the drips of melted snow go down the window “When you love somebody so much, you want to be there with them every second. Walk with them with life, but you know they need their space. You are comfortable around them. You have a feeling to wake up next to them. Make them breakfast... When they’re sick... You pamper them, but... when they ask for a break it feels like you’re failing the relationship.” I look back at Bertholdt keeping an eye on the road. I actually see _pain_ in his eyes. I stretch my arm out towards him rubbing his back “It’s okay Bert. Maybe you need the break too. Stay at somebody’s house. Go out with friends. Take a break from the curse called love.” Bertholdt stops the truck for the red light then he looks at me nearly crying, Bertholdt leans towards me hugging me then he says “I don’t know what to do.”

_I used to feel like this to somebody before. When I was dating Hitch, I moved out of my parents house to live in her apartment. We were happy together, we had a healthy relationship. Then one day, we had a massive fight. Hitch threw my stuff out the window, my clothing, video games, my console, everything that I owned. I moved back with my parents, and got my own apartment so I don’t deal with crazy bitches like her._

Bertholdt goes back to driving when the light turns green while he wipes his eyes and nose “First things first. We need to choose a place for you to stay.” Bertholdt smiles at me as we pass a movie theatre “Yeah.”

_Okay, Bertholdt where would you stay?_

“How about you stay at Eren’s with Mikasa and Armin?” Bertholdt looks at me raising his eyebrows then shaking his head “Have you seen them? They’re stupid. Of course except Mikasa. Well, Armin is smart, but when he’s around Eren they’re stupid.” I nod my head knowing that would be the answer, I plug in my iPhone from Bertholdt’s Aux cord turning on some music, “Well, uh... How about Ymir and Krista?” Bertholdt uses his hand to pretend to slit his throat “I don’t want to hear moaning all night.”

_Ymir and Krista’s relationship behind closed doors is cute, but if it’s night time that’s when they get into heat._

“How about... shit... Connie and Sasha?” Bertholdt’s facial expression is full of disapproval then I suggest Annie he looks at me then he says “Forget about Annie... I was originally going to ask you if I could stay at your place.” Bertholdt looks at me as he turns the car into a drive through. Bertholdt lines his car into a coffee place drive through with the other cars “Yeah... Annie is great but I don’t know.” Bertholdt turns down the music then I run my fingers through my hair.

_Bertholdt wanting to ask me if he could stay at my place. I haven’t had somebody stay at my own place since 7 th grade. _

“You really like to run your fingers through your hair don’t you?” I look at Bertholdt then I get nervous “Yeah, it’s force of habit...” Bertholdt drives forward a bit as trucks begin to move forward “Can I? If you don’t want me there I can ask Annie.”

_I do want Bertholdt to be there, it’s just it’s going to be awkward a bit._

I get kind of excited and get nervous mixed together then I say “No! No! It’s fine! You can stay...” Bertholdt smiles at me then he laughs a bit, Bertholdt places his hand on my shoulder then he says “Thank you...” I look out the window watching the cars, people, pass by then I look at the houses.

_I want to help Bertholdt with his problems but I have a feeling this would make it worse. It is Bertholdt’s choice._

“I’ll have a black coffee, and uhh- Jean what do you take?” Bertholdt asks me polity then I turn my head quickly at him then I say something random “Two milk and two sugar.” Bertholdt says my order into the mic then I pull out a five dollar bill for the coffees, “So when do you want to stay at my place?” Bertholdt sighs lightly giving me a look in the corner of his eye “How about tomorrow? Before Monday and work starts again.” I nod my head while I ask him how long the split will be. “Probably a couple weeks.”

_Weeks._

_____

 

We drive around for a bit while we talk about random stuff. We even got Mc Donald’s, pizza hut, groceries, getting ready for the week. One more person means double the food, can’t tell if this is a good or a bad thing. When we make it back to the apartment Reiner is sitting on the bench leaning forward noticing that Bertholdt and I left without notice, Bertholdt and I make our way to the door then Reiner says “There you are.” I turn around with Bertholdt then Bertholdt turns back to the door shrugging. I look back at Reiner as he sighs looking at his feet. We make our way up the stairs then I open my door when I hold groceries and Bertholdt holds the dinner for the night. Connie is still laying around with Sasha then he jumps up saying loudly “Finally! We can finally leave Sasha.” Sasha gets up off the couch noticing the food then she says “What is this? You and Bert moving in together?” Bertholdt shrugs then he says into my ear “I’ll be back later.” Sasha watches Bertholdt leave while Connie says “What’s wrong with him?” I look at Connie grabbing their jackets off the counter, then shoving them into Connie’s arm turning him around while grabbing Sasha “You two, out now. That’s none of your concern.”

_I’m pretty sure Reiner and Bertholdt don’t want to let the others know._

Connie and Sash argue with me as I shove them out the door.  I go back to the kitchen when I look out in the parking lot, seeing Reiner and Bertholdt talking. I take out some stuff out of the plastic bag while I see Reiner look at me then I hear him say loudly “Let’s just go already, pack your shit and get out.” Bertholdt stands there while he gets in the driver’s seat, then soon driving off. I put the stuff into the fridge while I see Connie and Sasha driving off in a car.

_I better clean this place up a bit._

___

As I finish up putting away the groceries I gather up the plastic bags when I get a text on my phone. I pull out my phone and look at the lock screen.

_It’s from Reiner..._

**Reiner:** So... Bert’s staying at your house for a bit?

**Jean:** Yeah, he asked me if he could so I let him.

**Reiner:**...

**Jean:** Is something wrong?

**Reiner:** Nothing... Thanks for letting me know though.

I get a knock on my door then I rush over to open it I see Bertholdt holding a suit case then he rolls it in “Wow Bert, did you pack everything but the kitchen sink?” I smirk at him then he looks at me “Reiner and I got into a fight. So I decided to pack everything I owned...”

_Wow that’s a bummer..._

“Is there an extra room around here?” Bertholdt asks me then I remember I do have one with an extra bed. I open the door near us then I see a bed fully made with a black dresser and a closest.

_It’s good enough... for living._

I turn on the lights while then Bertholdt says thanks to me one more time rolling in his suit case then he gives me a thankful look then soon closing the door.

_What really happened between Reiner and Bertholdt?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorks singing, drama, and meeting a new co-worker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >   
>  "This was love at first sight, love everlasting: a feeling unknown, unhoped for, unexpected - in so far as it could be a matter of conscious awareness; it took possession of him and he understood with joyous amazement and that this was for life."  
> 
> 
> "Love at first sight"  
> ~Thomas Mann

I knock on Bertholdt’s door asking him if he wants to eat the pizza we bought. The answer is no, I sigh then turn to the kitchen, to eat the pizza alone. I pull out the stool under the counter while I take a seat opening the pizza box. I take a pizza then I take a bite, the television is off, no music, it’s quiet. All I hear is laughter from the other apartments and people living their life. I hear Bertholdt unpacking his stuff slowly. I try to finish my pizza while my ceiling fan blows over the table near the living room. I sigh while I throw my pizza back into the box. I look at the stereo. I grab my phone out of my jacket, already turning on music for the stereo. I play a couple soothing songs, then I go back to finish my pizza. I sit down grabbing my unfinished pizza.

_Bertholdt really needs to eat, I don’t want him to be like this._

I walk to the door in the small hall towards to the room from the kitchen. I knock on his door lightly when I hear him say “Yeah?” very softly, while I hear some drawers get closed “Are you decent?”I joke around smiling at the door I hear Bertholdt hum then I open the door peaking in my head seeing Bertholdt already all unpacked with family portrait photos on the dresser. There are neatly place things on the wall shelves. I look at the curtain which is closed. I walk over to now bed. I sit down look at him with my hands in my jeans tucked away, “Bert, can you come and eat?” Bertholdt looks at the family portrait sitting on the dresser of his family and Reiner’s together, “We knew each other for so long...” I watch Bertholdt staring at it, Bertholdt has a single stream of tears go down then I stand up putting my hand on his shoulder “It isn’t really the end Bertholdt. Probably Reiner needed some time to... be free.” Bertholdt looks at me finally looking away from the picture “Believe me, Bert. I needed one in my last relationship.”

_Hitch was getting really clingy, I realllyyy needed a break._

“Bert, come on... Let’s go eat.” I walk towards the door while I finally take off my jacket throwing it in the hallway. I turn around smiling at Bert. Bertholdt standing in dark wash skinny jeans, and a black t-shirt. The group photo is in his hands while he just stares at it again. I lean on the door frame then I say crossing my arms “You really love him don’t you?” Bertholdt doesn’t say anything to me.

_I have never seen anybody feel like this to somebody about love. Only when they’re happy and loving each other._

“Would you like it better if we talk in the living room?” Bertholdt looks at me once again then he says quietly “Yeah.” I feel myself lighten up a bit knowing that Bertholdt will talk to me. I walk to the kitchen getting ready for the _talk_. I open the fridge revealing it is full of food. I dig around finding a 6 pack of beer bottles. I grab a couple can of pop. I set them down on the counter then quickly grabbing plates I pile the things and Mc Donalds on the pizza box the moving them onto the coffee table. Bertholdt hugs the couch pillow while sitting at the end of the long couch. I set the stuff in the middle while I grab the television remote I turn on the television. Once again showing Top Shocking is on. I grab a plate and my unfinished pizza, I chew on my pizza.

_“I’m wide awake...”_

_Great, Hitch’s music is playing. I have no idea why I still have her music on my phone, but who cares about that now. It’s free music._

I lean over to the table again to get a pizza for Bertholdt. I look at the pieces while I see the largest one. I place it on the plastic plate then handing it to him. Bertholdt smiles at me grabbing the plate then already chewing on it.

“ _Yeah, I was in the dark. I was falling hard, with an open heart. How did I read the stars so wrong?”_

I look at Bertholdt as he looks down at the pizza chewing. I grab a beer then opening it on the coffee table. I hand it to Bertholdt to help him loosen up.

_“And now it’s clear to me, that everything you see. Ain’t always what it seems.”_

Bertholdt drinks his beer then I scoot over to him then patting his hand.

_“Yeah, I was dreaming for so long.”_

Bertholdt sighs taking another shot of his beer, _“I wish I knew then, what I knew now. Wouldn’t dive in, wouldn’t bow down. Gravity hurts. You made it so sweet. Till I woke up on the concrete.”_ Bertholdt sings softly with the song looking down as I rub his back. His voice is controlled, the right pitch.. His singing voice is really good. I grab Bertholdt’s phone on the table as he’s in his own world, I open up the camera and record this fast as possible.

_“Falling from cloud nine... Crashing from the high... I’m letting go tonight... I’m falling from cloud nine.”_ Bertholdt takes a quick shot out of his beer then turning the other way sniffling _“Not losing any sleep. I picked up every piece, and landed on my feet.”_ Bertholdt wipes his eyes then still continuing “Need nothing to complete myself- no.”

_How does Bertholdt know the lyrics and how long as he been practicing singing._

_“Yeah, I am born again. Out of the lion’s den. I don’t have to pretend, and it’s too late. The story’s over now. The end.”_ I keep staring at Bertholdt while I record on his phone.

_Bertholdt singing in his own world, it looks like he singing for somebody. He’s singing for Reiner._

“ _Wish I knew then, what I knew now. Wouldn’t dive in, wouldn’t bow down. Gravity hurts. You made it so sweet. Till I woke up on the concrete.”_

_He is defiantly singing for Reiner._

_“Falling from cloud nine... Crashing from the high... I’m letting go tonight... I’m falling from cloud nine.”_

_Bertholdt, how much is your heart breaking right now?_

Bertholdt puts his plate and beer on the table as he gets up putting more emotion and action into his singing _“Thunder rumbling, castles crumbling. I am trying to hold on. God knows that I’ve tried seeing the bright side. I’m not blind anymore... I’m... Wide awake...”_

_Bertholdt just release all your emotions into the song, please. I want to help you._

_“Yeah I’m falling from cloud nine. Crashing from the high. You know I’m letting go tonight. I’m falling from cloud nine.”_ Bertholdt looks out the window fighting to hold back tears and emotions. The song is finishing as he looks out the window. I stop the video soon as it ends then I slow clap it out towards him “That was great Bert.” I grab myself a beer opening it as the bottle cap flies away. Bertholdt sits back down then he scoffs “I haven’t sung like that in a while.”  Next thing you know I’m holding my beer in the air towards Bert looking at him smiling “Let’s have a toast! To you singing awesomely!” I smile at him while he blushes embarrassed. Bertholdt clanks his beer against mine.

_Maybe I should talk to him now._

“So Bert, what happened?” Bertholdt looks at me as I lean back getting comfortable with the pillow on the couch. I grab my plate taking a bite of my pizza, Bertholdt looks at me all he says are some harsh words that every couple goes through “We had a fight... Another one.” I feel my eyes widen up while I almost choke on my pizza “What did he say?” I say after I finish eating my pizza watching him replay the whole scene in his head. Bertholdt takes a chug of his beer wiping his mouth afterwards “He uh, got mad when I said I was going to stay with you for a bit.”

_Wasn’t he the one who wanted a break? Is there something Bertholdt isn’t telling me?_

“Did I tell you that he cheated on me?” Bertholdt’s voice is full of pain and hate. I process what I just hear from Bertholdt. I look at him with my eye brows raised then I chug my beer.

“ _Pictures framing up the past, your taunting smirk behind the glass, this museum full of ash, once a tickle now a rash.”_

I finally open my mouth after hearing the lyrics to the song “When did you find out?” Bertholdt looks at the television while Funhouse by pink plays in the background, Bertholdt puts his beer on the table “Last week.”

Bertholdt, how can you look at him right in the eye for a whole week? How can you still listen to _him after that? How can you eat lunch with him?_

“Oh...”

_Oh, is all I let out. Oh, is only what I let out._

Bertholdt leans back on the couch with not anything in his hands “When I was working late, you know when I was cleaning up with Armin and Mikasa last week? We had to organize the storage room, do the dishes, and all those things. I caught a ride with both of them. I couldn’t wait to go home and sleep... I opened my apartment door... I saw an extra pair of shoes... There was champagne on the kitchen table... Then I went to our room... I saw _her_.”

_A girl..._

“Imagine this beautiful girl with long black wavy hair, light skin complexion, and big beautiful blue eyes, just really beautiful...” I move over to Bertholdt then squeezing him in my arms.

_How could Reiner do this to Bertholdt?_

“She asked who I was... Then I asked who she was... I was there standing while she was covering herself. Reiner getting dressed really fast... I just went out the door really fast with the truck keys. I drove off not looking back. I spent the entire night crying, driving, and just out in the city. I went back Sunday morning.” I just sit there holding Bertholdt in my arms then I finally say “It’s okay... You can cry you know? It’s just me...” Bertholdt shakes his head Bertholdt pushes me away getting up wiping his tears away “I’d rather not waste my tears on Reiner.” Bertholdt looks at me smiling.

_I’m smiling because I knew Bertholdt was stronger than this. Afterall, he has a week to process what he had been through. Maybe he’s faking his smile right now. Maybe he isn’t okay at all. I would be faking and tucking away my tears too._

“Well, it’s nearly 7... I’m gonna go take a shower.” Bertholdt scratched the back of his head then I say to him “O-okay, the towels are in the closest behind the door when you open the bathroom.” Bertholdt nods at me then walking away. I pull out my phone scrolling through facebook eating my pizza when I see a facebook status from Reiner.

_‘Had the shittiest day today, I had a feeling it was going to be great, but all the shit went down the drain like nothing. Welp, on the bright side... what am I talking about? There is no bright side now. Hagn.’_

_Three likes and two comments asking what is wrong..._

I write down on the comment box _‘Maybe you should’nt have hurt Bertholdt like that. What you did was wrong. Bertholdt doesn’t want you back anymore. I hope you have a great single life.’_ I scan through my comment while I erase it then locking my phone. I sigh then I continue to watch television show.

___

_Bertholdt and I spent our entire evening laughing and talking about old times. We went for a drive, finished our uneaten Mc Donald’s, blasted music, took some selfies together, and just enjoyed ourselves._

I scroll through the pictures while I lay in bed, the selfie’s Bertholdt took on my phone. There’s even a video that he took, _“Hey Bert, we’re going to get gas so we don’t get stranded like a homeless person.”_ Bertholdt turns the phone back to him then he says _“Look Jean, what if phones didn’t exist.”_ I look at Bertholdt then I raise an eyebrow, while I begin to grab my phone _“Then there would be no phones, your pot head years are beginning to take effect of you.”_

_The video ends there._

I scroll again smirking from the last one looking at random photos of driving on the roads. Then one last final video while Bertholdt was waiting in the car pointing to himself. Out of my curiosity I play the video hearing some thumps and thuds.

_“Jean... Thank you. Thanks you for making me laugh and smile today. It really meant a lot to me. Without you I don’t know what I would’ve done. Sorry I couldn’t do this straight to your face. I’m such a dork when it comes to these things.”_ Bertholdt laughs under his breath wiping his tears away then finishing his sentence _“When I was taking a shower, I was telling myself I wasn’t good enough... and I knew I wasn’t okay... So please Jean... Help make all those go away.”_ Bertholdt takes a deep breath then he says _“You’re coming now Jean... When you see this please help me.”_ I feel tears build up then it slides down to the side onto my ear.

___

In the morning Bertholdt is on his laptop searching and playing music. I walk out of my room to Bertholdt singing to one of my old favourite songs by Christina Perri. I walk over to Bertholdt in my pyjamas while he sits on the couch dressed up _“If that’s what you need. Be your everything. I can do it... I can do it... I’ll get through it.”_ I sit down next to Bert starting to sing with him _“But, I’m only human... and I bleed when I fall down.”_

_I don’t give a shit if my voice sucks, I’m singing with Bert anyways..._

_“I’m only human... and I crash and I break down...”_ I bow my head listening to the song, I remember when Hitch found this song and fell in love with it. Blasting it.

_“You build me up and I fall apart, I’m only human, yeah...”_

_Hitch blasted this song for three days straight and we sang for the longest hours together. How I miss those days._

_“I’m only human... I’m only human... Just a little human.”_

I listen to Bert singing the little lines of the song, I notice the light for the camera is one then I notice he’s recording.

_“I can take so much... Until I’ve had enough.”_

_Who gives a shit aye?_

_“Cause I’m only human... and I bleed when I fall down. I’m only human, and I crash and I break down, your words in my head, knives in my heart. You build me up and I fall apart, because I’m only human... yeah...”_

Bertholdt listens through the instrumental then stops the video. Bertholdt looks at me then he says to me “That was really good Jean.” I look away then he puts his hand on my shoulder leaning on me “I’m going to upload it.”

_Upload it where?_

“Where?” Bertholdt smiles at me opening up YouTube opening his channel of a bunch of covers “I opened this Youtube Channel last year. This will be the first time I’ll be singing with somebody.” I notice he is the real deal about covers. I notice he had been doing covers for two years. He doesn’t have himself as a cover, or the username as his name. He didn’t even show himself on the videos. “I didn’t show you guys because I was a little too embarrassed. Reiner only knew about this and now you know.” Bertholdt begins to edit the video.  I get up from the couch really wanting to change the subject “Did you eat yet?” Bertholdt shakes his head then I rush to the kitchen.

_Okay, if my singing sucks... People will think I’m horrible at singing and will notice me in public._

I crack double the eggs into a bowl I usually eat then whisking “So, when are you going to show you face?” I ask Bertholdt as I pour eggs onto the pan hearing sizzling, “It was going to be this video.” I turn my head then my body to look at him, Bertholdt looks up from the screen then he smirks.

_So people might recognize me in public._

I move around the mix of eggs in the pan once it starts to cook “I’ve never sang in front of camera, or recorded myself. So I don’t know how my voice sounds like.” Bertholdt smirks at me then looks down at the screen. Hearing the beginning of the song of Bertholdt singing alone very slow and calm the beat slowly going faster, then you can hear me getting ready to sing... I freeze when I hear Bertholdt and I singing together.

_Did I really sing that long without fucking up?_

I move around the eggs until the songs still plays. I hear the vocals of two grown men sing to a silly love song. I stand there cooking the eggs while the cover continues to play. I throw in bread in the toaster. I pour water into the pan, Bertholdt claps his hands together right after the cover ends. I feel myself burning like crazy, Bertholdt in a very soft tone “You have a great voice.” I open my fridge getting pork sausages out of the fridge, “No way, your voice is way better than mine.” I grab a knife out of my drawer then opening the package slicing some of the sausages to cook faster, “Well, if your voice is a singing voice I’m going to post it on YouTube.”

_Bertholdt, if I fuck up your account I’m not sorry. You’re the one who wanted to post it._

___

_ Friday _

We mix up the places every Friday, last week we had it at my place and a night of drinking. Now this week we’re having it at Sasha and Connie’s place. I made an entire plate of devilled eggs for everybody. Bertholdt made more dinner rolls, because dinner rolls. Sasha and Connie have a really long table because Sasha lives with her parents and her parents have plenty of money to their name, I sit down in between Bertholdt and Eren. Chitter chatter fills the kitchen full of young adults. Until Sasha’s parents come into the kitchen saying “Is everything okay? Need refreshments?” Ymir turns around replying to her parents holding up a case of beer “Nah, we’re good! Thank you Mrs. Braus!” Ymir smiles at her then Sasha’s mother smiles gently at us thenI feel like I should add something there.

_Ymir never acts like that towards us._

“Whoa Ymir, where did that politeness come from?” Ymir glares at me smirking eating her bread “Shut up, horseface.” Connie laughs obnoxiously loud sliding off his chair then you hear an echo from under the table “At least she has some respect for adults!”

_You can actually hear an ‘ooooooh’ from everybody._

I roll my eyes while Eren over does it going closer to my ear then I shove him away playfully. I chug my beer looking at Sasha at the end of the table setting up the food on the table. Sasha finishes setting up the food then she says loudly “Whose turn is it to say something before we eat, Eren?” Eren looks at Sasha trying to remember who was supposed to go after him. I lean back on the chair whole all I hear from Eren is “uuuuuuhhhhhhhh...” A few moments pass by I look around the room waiting patiently then Eren snaps his fingers “It was Reiner’s!”

_Reiner’s_

I lean forward looking at Reiner sitting beside Ymir, I look at his plate and his cups then I say “Yeah Reiner, it is your turn. It’s your turn to say something.” Bertholdt shrugs a bit looking down at the table trying to act natural. Reiner looks at me intensely with his arms folded together.

_I can feel him staring into my soul._

I bit my tongue trying to keep a straight face trying not to laugh or give him a glare. Reiner sighs lightly then he stands up holding beer in his cup then he scans everybody in the room then looking at Bertholdt. Reiner clears his throat then his takes a deep breath in “When we fall, we fall and bleed, we crash and break, words in our heads, knives in our hearts, we build each other up and we fall apart. These things happen because we are human.” Reiner still looking at Bertholdt then he finally looks away from him then saying to everybody “Praise the walls!”

_Did Reiner see that video Bertholdt upload?_

I raise my cup clanking it with everybody else, “Praise the walls...” I say lowly after I hit Mikasa’a cup. I go over the table looking at Reiner in the eye then I clank his.

_This is too much tension for Bertholdt._

Bertholdt puts down his cup fast then asking Sasha where the bathroom is Sasha gives him the location. Bertholdt quickly gets out of the room, I watch him as he closes the door. I wonder if I should give him time or I should give him comfort “What’s wrong with him?” Eren whispers in my ear startling me I put down my cup quickly walking out of the dining room. I follow Bertholdt upstairs and down the hallways as he closes the door right in front of me. I hear Bertholdt breaking down in the washroom “Bert?” I knock on the door lightly I hear footsteps coming up “Bertholdt, let me in please.” Bertholdt cries some more hitting the wall lightly then he says under his breath “He saw the video...” I try to turn the door knob, but I just shake it I knock one more time “Bertholdt please.”

_Please_

“Are you sure he’s going to open it for you?” I turn my head seeing Reiner standing in the hallway in the background I hear laughter from the others. Hearing muffled crying and laughter it’s just me and Reiner in the hallway then he states “He’s not going to open it.” Reiner walks closer to me moving me out of the wall “Not to you at least.” I watch him as I watch him knock on the door. Bertholdt says lightly at him “Go away.” I turn Reiner towards me looking up at him standing up for Bertholdt “Just go back downstairs Reiner, Bertholdt doesn’t want to talk to you. Not after what you did to hurt him.” Reiner glares at me once more saying “He told you didn’t he?”

_Some girl with black hair... Should I say black haired bomb shell? I’m going to do it._

“Yes, a black hair bombshell... In his and your bed.” Reiner stares at me then he turns back to the washroom “Bertholdt?”

“ _Just both of you... Go away.”_

Reiner and I freeze together “ _Please.”_ I look at Reiner as he gives me another dirty look from the corner of his eye.

I walk past him walking by Sasha’s mom asking what’s wrong then I hear Reiner making bullshit “Just waiting for the bathroom, Mrs. Braus.” I return to the dining room then everybody asks what happened then I say “Nothing, just Bertholdt having one of those anxiety attacks.” Everybody has a questioning look on their faces then Historia asks “What caused it?” I freeze up reaching for the pot full of spaghetti then I play it cool “Who knows?” Reiner returns with Bertholdt right behind him.

_Might as well try to enjoy this night._

 

___

_A few weeks had passed by since Bertholdt moved in with me, Bertholdt used to feel so gloomy even when he tried his best. Now he smiles and laughs all the time. He doesn’t even care about anything anymore. Bertholdt had moved one from Reiner instead of me hearing him cry every night. Now Bertholdt is always fast asleep. I’m so happy Bertholdt that you’re feeling alright._

_“Dinner bells, and loaded guns! I_ _nnocence is bound to run, enemies are playing from, but don't you touch that golden sun!”_ Bertholdt and I dance around and sing along to the blasted song like idiots in a night club, moving our shoulders and moving to the beat _“Innocence and sentiment, is owned by hope it's where you're at. Baby is my love too old for you? Emma I'm for you, Emma I'm for you!”_ Then we hear the doorbell ring Bertholdt and I smile like high school girls “Uh... quickly tidy this room just in case it’s Connie and Sasha.” I rush down the hallway hearing a laundry basket and garbage getting thrown around. I peek through the hole seeing Mikasa standing beside a guy.

_A guy_

I open the door seeing Mikasa is shorter than the guy, this guy is wearing a fucking black t-shirt with nirvana on there, and he’s wearing Jeans and sneakers. I look at his face then he smiles warmly at me with freckles sitting on his cheeks and his hair moves around a bit on his head. I look into his eyes a little too long.

_There’s something about those eyes... Makes me want to look at them forever._

Nervously I say “H-hey Mikasa.” I open my door widely for her then she walks in wearing a back cardigan, high heels, black skirt, and a white blouse.

_And that scarf_

“Just come on in.” I say to the new stranger I scratch the back of my neck as he walks in taking off his shoes next to Mikasa’s high heels. Mikasa stands in the living room while Bertholdt is cleaning up still. I walk in as Mikasa is looking at me in a questioning look. Probably about Bertholdt cleaning my apartment. Mikasa ignored the fact that I’m making a “guest” clean my apartment. The guy stand awkwardly around my living room then Mikasa introduces me to the guy “Marco, this is Jean and Bertholdt. Jean, meet Marco.” Marco reaches for my hand smiling shaking it without my permission “Nice to meet you Bertholdt.”

_Shit has it already been a couple weeks already?_

“H-hi.” I shake his hand back as Bertholdt comes over shaking his hand “My name is Jean by the way. S-shit.” I hesitate noticing I was shaking his hand a little too long. Marco smirks lightly then he says “Sorry.” Marco tucks his hands into his pocket jeans after he shakes hands with Bertholdt “Marco is going to work at the restaurant with us. I’m just doing a quick introduction before we go back to work tomorrow.” Mikasa looks at her watch then she says “Come on Marco, we have to meet the others.” Marco looks back at me smiling waving goodbye. I watch him as he disappears from the corner into the hallway.

_Did I just have my first crush all over again?_

I hear a door close while I run my fingers through my hair processing what happened. I didn’t feel like this to anybody before during a first impression “You’re blushing Jean.” Bertholdt whispers into my ear breathily laughing into it. I turn at him as he laughs harder “You’re like a cherry Jean! Make sure you don’t pop yours!” Bertholt laughs as he falls onto the cough holding his stomach trying to calm himself down. I grab a pillow hitting him then I say “Shut up Bert! I don’t even like guys!” Bertholdt breathes as he finally calms down “Are you sure?” Bertholdt asks me then I hesitate once more “Y-yes!” Bertholdt nods his head getting up starting to clean up again. When he picks up two pop cans off the coffee table with the music in the back ground “You could be _Bisexual_. You never know.”

_If this was a romance anime there would’ve been fucking sparkles, pixie dust and a pink fucking background around him when I saw him._

_“Cause I can't sit oh I can’t talk, I gotta leave this town and run to you, curse these nights that speak your name. I gotta leave this town and come to you. Break. This. Curse. She barely knew your name.”_

I begin helping Bertholdt clean up the apartment just in case any more surprise guests come over unexpected. I gather dirty clothes and make my way down to the laundry room. I put down the laundry basket on the washer. I back up to the wall sliding down to the floor. I hug my knees looking like a lost teenager. I scoff replaying that whole scene in my head. Somebody comes into the laundry room as I get up starting to organize the clothes.

_I remember this feeling... I know this feeling all too well... The feelings for another is back..._

I turn on the washer as the other people leave the room for a quick moments then I smile feeling myself burn. That guy had taken my breath away like nothing when I looked into his eyes. I rub my face smiling like the little dork I am. I finish up the laundry then rushing back up seeing Marco and Mikasa are still in the parking lot talking. I stand there looking at him. Just him. Nothing else. I lose focus of the outer world and I just watch him smile from a distance laughing a bit.

_His eyes burn bright, his smile is full of life, those freckles almost drive me crazy...I think I met the most perfect man I met._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! I had fun writing this chapter! :3 I hope you enjoyed!  
> Sorry if it's a bit rushed!  
> Here are the lyrics I took from songs. (They are in order)  
> Wide Awake - Katy Perry  
> Funhouse -P!nk  
> Human - Christina Perri  
> Curse - Imagine Dragons


End file.
